Scars to my beautiful

IMG_20170924_084922Scars to my beautiful
By Moribego ‘Ribi’ Madubanya
We all have scars, whether physical or emotional. Every girl’s nightmare is getting physical scars; I recently fell and scratched my thighs and hands. It hurt badly, I was bleeding but the only thing on my mind was “My shorts and mini dresses!” And “What will people say?” Yup it seems like I still suffer from ‘What will people say syndrome’.
Especially after the Emotional abuse blog, wait! Why am I even thinking about him? Why do I feel the need to tell people that he has never physically harmed me? Is that where the relationship was headed?
Anyway those are just physical scars, they will soon heal and I will forget that I once fell while out with family. Well…a cousin took a picture as I fell, a beautiful picture if I may add. (Before you judge him, he wasn’t aware that it hurt as badly as it did)
I recently got into a car accident, I wasn’t physically hurt but I am definitely emotionally scarred. Even worse both my sisters were in Limpopo so that means I had to deal with the whole situation on my own. I realised just how alone I am and what the saying “People will love you and support you when it’s beneficial” meant.
I looked at my scars and realised that beauty is not physical but mental and emotional. Beauty is confidence. Beauty is looking at your scars and thinking “I am still beautiful and will forever be “
I am still alive, that’s a blessing. I still have the same heart, that’s an even bigger blessing.

 

 

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Pedi King meets his Zulu Queen

20170924_162858Pedi king meets his Zulu Queen
By Moribego ‘Ribi’ Madubanya
“Wherever you go, whatever you do. Be in love” I don’t remember who said this or where I first heard this quote. All I know is that a lot of people are in relationships with people they are not in love with, stuck in jobs they despise just because of the money.
I am genuinely grateful because I am in love with my job, I really couldn’t be happier. Personal relationship? Well… all I am willing to say is we can’t date if you can go a day without talking to me. We both must be obsessed with each other. Speaking of love I had an amazing long weekend, My Cousin was getting married.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother ,And cleave to his wife. And they two shall be one flesh; so then, they are no more two but one flesh.” -Mark 10, Verse 7&8
I am a hopeless romantic and a huge fan of love, so of course I wasn’t going to miss his wedding for the world plus I got a chance to spend time with my other cousins. I had not seen them in a while and missed them terribly.
Love knows no ethnicity or distance. We had to drive all the way from Limpopo to Kwa Zulu Natal to get our bride (12-15 HOURS) drive. The way the couple looked at each other, the smiles and stolen glances made me believe in love again but this post is not about me, they say a picture is worth a thousand words so here goes…

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The Groom’s parents and siblings.

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The groom’s family thought “Since we are in Durban, why not checkout the beach ?”
Congratulations Couzy ! *Sigh* they grow up fast ,it feels like just yesterday he was in high school now he is a married man. NB: I Would never say this to his face cause he is a decade older than I am. Any way I am still happy for him

Signed.

Stay in love

Weirdo Diaries

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Weirdo Diaries
By Moribego ‘Ribi’ Madubanya
First things first I don’t suffer from any mental disorder but I always find myself smiling at my thoughts. I have always been an ever smiling, That’s just how I am.
The weirdness comes in when I am walking alone and suddenly a memory that melts my heart comes to mind and I just can’t help but smile. My Favourite part is when the boys take that as me liking them and then they try to halla. The girls usually think I know them and smile back with confused faces like “Where does she know me from?”
Nah babe. I am just smiling at my thoughts. Occasionally I get the “Is she fine look”. Yes, I am okay, My mom got a psychologist ‘s opinion who assured us that it’s perfectly normal to smile at your thought. In fact, it’s a sign of a healthy mind. Okay, I ADMIT. If I bumped into someone smiling alone, I would also think something is wrong and for that reason I always have my headsets on or a phone in my hand so I can pretend to be smiling at a text.
Oh! Did I mention that instead of walking like other kids I always find myself running? Yes, that means bumping into people every now and then. I guess I will forever be a child. But I wouldn’t be Ribi without the weirdness and that’s the exciting part. No one is me and that’s just beautiful.

Love
No one is you and that’s your strength.

Hello stranger

Hello Stranger

By Moribego ‘Ribi’ Madubanya
Its Ribi NOT SWEETIE. its disrespectful to yell “Hey sweetie, come give me a hug!” to someone you don’t know. Just because I am wearing a dress that sits just above my knees doesn’t automatically make me your “Baby” “Sweet stuff” “Portable what what” ish is so 80s.
I don’t mind getting compliments from strangers, it’s the way they do it I have a problem with. I certainly do NOT appreciate the sexual comments. I had one guy yell “You are a b***h” Just because I just stared at him and refused to entertain him.
Dear Boys, I don’t know what your mom taught you but you are not entitled to any girl’s time or body. And No, we don’t wear knee high dresses and miniskirts for you. I could walk around naked but that doesn’t give you the right to call me names.
Boys walk around in shorts and sleeveless vests, not even once have I heard a group of girls whistling, making sexual comments or insulting the boy for showing disinterest in them. Not to mention the little respect I have for boys who still think woman are sexual objects, I had one dumb boy offer me R100 if I go home with him, I was so shocked and felt so disrespected since he didn’t know me. The only thing I could say to him was “Wa mphaphela” (You are being disrespectful). A couple of minute after he walked past all of a sudden all the words I should have told him came to mind. I don’t know which world he lives in but ladies these days make their own money.
What’s wrong with this boys? They didn’t even see the thighs; all they could see was knees but they had already lost their minds. Brace yourselves spring is around the corner, I am going to wear my bum shorts and miniskirts. I swear I am going to walk around with pepper spray and I dare anyone to make a sexual comment, whistle or try to touch me inappropriately.
Scrap that “Respect your body” talk, I could wear the longest dress today and a short skirt tomorrow but still get the same comments on both days. Okay I know I must be covered up when I go to work, that much I know.

Hello

 

 

When the Boss asks for sex

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When The boss asks for sex
By Moribego ‘Ribi’ Madubanya
So I got a friend (Yes, she happens to be a blogger) But for today we will call her Thandi. She is from rural KZN and all her life she wanted nothing but to be in the media industry. She knew the industry was not meant for the sweet and naïve. However, the stories about how a lot of girls had to give sexual favours in exchange for jobs didn’t change her mind. She was certain this is the industry she wanted to take on and again sexism is everywhere, right?
She grew up to be a very beautiful reserved girl, In her final year of obtaining her qualification she figured she didn’t want to be another unemployed graduate so in her frustration sent CVs to as many companies as possible. Just as she was about to give up she gets a call to come for an interview (look at God ) So her sister helps her out with an outfit cause girl isn’t so fashionable. The following day she rocks up to the office bumps into a familiar face on the way who at least calm her nerves down with his silly jokes.
She gets into the interview room, kills it and when she gets home that evening she gets that call that says she got the job (But God !) So the following Monday she reports to work. Theory is a bit different from practical but she soldiers on, ke bo miss independent aker. Any way she keeps at it, ignores this old married man who follows her every day to work. One day she bumps into the boss at the passage and he ‘mistakenly’ touches her breasts and says “I like reading your blog” She was puzzled, surely he touched her by mistake and who wouldn’t like their boss reading their blog so she brushed that off.
A few months down the line, The boss calls her into his office and asks her how she feels about girls who sleep their way to the top. She made it clear she is not about that life and moved on to update him about the progress she was making with clients. Soon after that she was always called into the office like a naughty child. She was always in trouble for this and that.
One day she wasn’t feeling well so she asked the manager to leave early and a colleague accompanied her. The following morning when she gets to work the boss calls her into his office and says “you hacked my email account yesterday” what the heck? I mean girl left the office at 2 pm and the email was sent at 3pm She must be a magician.
Any way she was told to come sign a verbal warning (Yes,I said sign a verbal warning) and a final written warning at the same time (I am no lawyer, but I know that’s not how it goes) and what happened to the other written warning that comes before the final one? Girl just said okay and left. Days past boss greeted her at the office and didn’t say anything, Hawu! A week later she gets called into the office to sign verbal and final written warning at the same time. She refused and said she needs legal advice before signing anything, he sent her back to the office.
Few minutes later she gets called again this time it’s a suspension letter with full pay. Okay so who wouldn’t want to get paid without working? and her contract was about to end in a couple of months anyway so she signed the suspension letter and left. Girl got paid till her contract ended without working, (Imagine!) I don’t know if that’s nice life problems or beauty being a burden.
Anyway that’s Thandi’s story ,she got an offer at another company and she is happy there.

Sex and Marriage

 

Sex and Marriage

By Moribego ‘Ribi’ Madubanya

iYoh! guys apparently the is a scripture in the bible that says whenever your husband asks for sex you shouldn’t deny him even though you don’t feel like it (Don’t ask me to quote the scripture, I don’t know my bible that well). But how does this marriage thing work? Why does it seem like men feel like they own us once they marry us?

So a friend told me that ever since she got married, Hubby wants to do the dance all the time. “I knew he loved dancing but he’s gotten worse since we got married and my elders told me to never say no” she said.  The elders’ advice at weddings is my favourite part, trust me I’ve been to too many weddings to know that they can say senseless things sometimes. I won’t tell you that me and my uncle gate crash weddings for fun when we are bored but that’s not why I am writing this post.

A colleague said “sex is just sex, before and after marriage it feels the same”. But how does he know because he is not married yet? Why does it seem like as a woman the number of guys you sleep with decreases your value thus decreasing your chances of getting married while with guys the number of girls he slept with doesn’t matter?

Okay, Let’s talk lobola. The money is meant to bring two families together and thank the bride’s parents for raising her, they use money because they can’t  bring live cows like they did back in the days. But this days people charge ridiculous amount of money, you might think they are selling their daughter. I have heard of one guy who was charged R180K for lobola, to cut a long story short. They are still girlfriend and boyfriend.

With the little knowledge that I have I know that marriage should be about two people who love each other and can’t imagine life without the other while sex should also be used to pleasurize two people. (NB:I invented the word pleasurize)

Why do people have sex and why do people get married?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lemonade !

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Lemonade

By Moribego ‘Ribi’ Madubanya

Women’s month has arrived and no doubt the will be thousands of campaigns opposing women and children abuse.Mostly focusing on the physical abuse women endure from their partners,people who are supposed to love and protect them.

But no one ever talks about emotional abuse.Atleast with physical abuse you have visible scars and people can tell that you need help fast.However with emotional abuse you cry yourself to sleep,wake up and smile like everything is ok.

So,I met this guy.From the word go our relationship was based on lies and manipulation.The next minute he is sweet and the next he is cold. Cancelling our meetings at last minute had become a norm till I decided I had enough but he apologised and promised that it would never happen again.

I tried breaking up with him a thousand times,One time we were both crying while he was singing “her heart won’t let me lose her”. But truth be told,everytime I took him back the behaviour improved.I once opened up my heart and told him that an old friend said  I had gained  weight and he said “Your friend is right,you get bigger everytime I see you”

I endured comments such as  “Your idea is stupid” but he couldn’t tell me why. When I told him that someone asked for professional advice from me he said “That boy is stupid for wanting your help”

One day, actually more than once he snapped and raised his voice at me. He apologised and said he’ll go see a therapist.(He probably said that just to get me off his back)

Oh! Did I mention that I wasn’t the only girl in the picture? He was emotionally abusive to both of us .One day girl calls while he is with me ,I ask who he is talking to and he replied “my cousin”. Girl heard that and screamed her lungs out. He looked at me side eyeing him and hung up. Guess what he said? “My cousin is like my mom always turning tiny issues into big ones”

All I could was cry, he kissed my puffy face, I could taste his tears too. He told me he doesn’t want to lose me ,he knows he hasn’t been the best boyfriend and asked me to be patient with him.He called the other girl and sent a text to prove to me that they are no longer together  (I think he called and texted wrong numbers)

So whenever girl called, He would say “I can’t talk now, I am at Alex” Girl knows I stay in Alex so I believed they were really over and the call was strictly work related. She once sent her regards and got upset when I returned the love.

He promised to change, and for  a second things were going well, okay that’s what I thought till he stopped saying I love you back, we stopped seeing each other even though we are in the same city. When I confronted him he accused me of being selfish as he is going through a rough patch (I don’t know which part of the rough patch to believe)

One day he told me that girl beats him up,yup ! It was a lie obviously.I have never met the other girl but I doubt she beats him up. He once told me…

“You should have told your heart to behave, now look at the things you are tolerating. You love me and the is nothing you can do about it”

He wasn’t all bad and I am definitely not trying to paint him in a bad picture because I am sure he can also point out my flaws. In between the tears, lies and manipulation I remember how he would always try to cheer me up when I was down.

The jokes about snitches he would tell while taking a walk, he wanted to hear me laugh even though he was going through a family crisis.

He would cook for me when I got back from work too tired to even defrost the meat.(Thank you for teaching me how to cook chicken) and I appreciate the industry advice.

I remember how I once had a night mare ,he kissed me on the forehead, back hugged me and sang for me till I fell asleep.

Thank you for answering my call at 2 a.m. just because I had a tooth ache.

We both realised that some people are meant to be nothing more than friends and decided to end things.

Thank you for the memories

Love,

Gaydie and Ribi

Art in the Heart

Gauteng Media getting free Pottery learns for Lillian Malanga the own of...pic:Supplied

(Gauteng Media getting free pottery classes)

Art in the heart

By Moribego ‘Ribi’ Madubanya

From the dusty streets of Venda to the world ,Tshililo Lillian Malange’s story

Sounds more like another Cinderella story with Eskom foundation being the prince.

 

Founder and hands on director of Rainbow Mosaic and pottery recently invited us into her home in Makhado, Venda to witness the beautiful work she does. Once you see her artwork it’s not hard to believe that she has been to Italy, Botswana, Portugal, Zimbabwe and her first international trip was in China.

“In 2013 when Nelson Mandela died, I was in Italy. I had stock worth R18 000 and it sold out immediately when the media reported about his death” she said.

Lillian learnt to make pots from childhood by watching her mom make them. “I worked at a certain company for fourteen years ad whenever my boss came to visit she would take some pots with to Cape town.” She explained. People would compliment her work but she didn’t think of starting a business until the company she worked for closed down and her previous employer suggested that she should add mosaic to attract customers.

 

She does admit that coming up with capital wasn’t easy. Luckily she entered and won Eskom Business Investment Competition which gave her exposure and an opportunity to network.

“Right now all I want is for Eskom to help me set up a studio so I can teach children to create their own artwork” she pleaded.

Another inspiring story is that of David Mokwele who went from being a broke school teacher who couldn’t afford lunch to owning Mcflora Achaar and employing 13 people.

Black child, it’s possible!

Hanging out With Prince Phila

Phila

Pic Cred:Google

Being the son of Ringo Madlingozi makes him the prince of Xhosa music Royalty.Miss Ribi had a cup of tea with him and asked a few questions.

  1. Who is Phila Madlingozi ?

Phila Madlingozi is a child of Africa

  1. Music or Acting?

I am a storyteller. I don’t choose. I tell stories through acting, singing, rapping and dancing..

  1. Tell us about your role on intersexions, how did that come about?

I entered the nationwide open auditions.

  1. What inspired you to enter IDOLS?

I entered idols to show my country that I have a special voice.

  1. Did Idols have an inmpact on your career?

Idols exposed me to a bigger demographic. A lot of people know that I sing now. I also learned what is demanded of superstars. All the tools that build artists were learned there. I appreciate the opportunity.

  1. Does Being Ringo’s Son put  extra pressure on you?

 

No. It makes my life more exciting. I have a rich musical backround because I’m his son. I can’t wait to share and represent my country in the world as Xhosa music royalty.

  1. What don’t you like about this industry?

It’s a big set. There are the actors, directors, extras, crew.

  1. Who do you hope to work with in this industry?

I want to work with Rihanna and Damian Marley!!

  1. How do you balance your career and personal life?

I only give people what is relevant. I keep my family close and I pray a lot. That’s how I balance things out.

22 Reasons to celebrate life

  1. CaptureYou’ll never be as young as you are right now.
  2. Celebrate your health.
  3. No amount of worrying will change a situation. Surrendering = freedom.
  4. Celebrate your relationships. Celebrate the ones that support you and the ones that have failed you because you have learned from them.
  5. Celebrate the fact that it is never too late to change
  6. You can choose happiness over your struggles and suffering.
  7. Every chapter in life is special and challenging in its own way. Celebrate each season.
  8. You don’t have to plan out your life because God has already planned it out for you. You just have to stay close to Him and be open to following it.
  9. You can change a person’s life with something as simple as a smile or a hello.
  10. You are LIVING and breathing.
  11. Celebrate the weather and the seasons that come with it.
  12. Your body is literally made to make you live. It functions and supports you without you being cautious of it.
  13. Celebrate your disappointments and failures, for they have made you stronger and shaped you into the person you are today.
  14. You were beautifully and wonderfully made by a God who loves you.
  15. You have the freedom to choose your thoughts and experiences.
  16. Your struggle is part of your story.
  17. If an opportunity doesn’t open that you want, you know that you were made for a better one.
  18. You can laugh, smile, dance and move your body.
  19. Your life is short and you don’t know how long you will be on earth.
  20. You have the ability to choose the kind of life you want to live.
  21. You only get one precious life and you don’t want to regret not living in the moment and living life to the fullest.
  22. There are millions of people that you can connect and build relationships with that can support you if you are open and willing to itgreen-22https://www.google.co.za/search?q=22&rlz=1C1CHBD_enZA751ZA751&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi9jcS0o4TVAhWKXhoKHftDA98Q_AUIBigB&biw=1280&bih=918#imgrc=jWIkCy-HlIwTYM:

 

http://www.mintandmo.com/24-reasons-to-celebrate-life-now/